英作文の添削をしてください。英検準1級の英作文のレベルが前提です。 I think, from the viewpoint of concerns of environmental problems and employees’ bad working conditions, it is not desirable for stores to stay open 24 hours a day. To begin with, the Earth has been facing a serious problem of global warming for a few decades. Much of the energy that we use is produced by burning fossil fuels and this is one of the causes of global warming. Therefore, stores should use as little energy as possible. For example, it is effective to reduce the amount of electricity that they use by closing at midnight. Next, staying up all night is bad for workers’ health. For instance, lack of time to sleep or overwork can course workers to get mentally and physically ill. For this reason, stores should let workers lead a healthy life. In conclusion, although the demand for stores’ opening for 24 hours a day is existent. I believe stores should not operate all day. Topic: Do you think it is desirable for stores to stay open 24 hours a day? 繋ぎの表現の副詞や副詞句でもっと適切な表現があれば教えてください。
英語
