英語の課題でエッセイを書いたのですが、 最後の部分か難しくて、、ここをもうちょっと直したら良くなるよとかあればコメントお願い致します！ Finally, using a smartphone leads to the leakage of personal information. Mobile devices such as smartphones, laptops, tablets and usb have a lot of sensitive personal information, so there is a risk that personal information will be exposed to these (Office of the Privacy Commissioner of Canada, 2016). If children easily put a photo like their face on SNS without knowing the danger of smartphones, it may be possible to identify an individual. Also, not only SNS but also apps, web links, password and location information may leak personal information. For example, if they include their name or birthday in their password, their personal information will be revealed. Actually, hackers can find information such as birthdays, anniversaries,and pet names online, so a less secure password means that your personal information is more likely to be stolen (McAfee,2020). If personal information is stolen, there is a possibility of unauthorized use of bank accounts, apps, emails. Using smartphones can thus obstruct child growth, because smartphones have a harmful effect on children. 71% of parents with children under the age of 12 consider smartphones to be harmful to their children. In addition, 61% of parents receive advice from doctors and professionals about using their children's smartphones, because they are not confident in educating about usage of smartphones their children.(Pew ResearchCenter,2020). Parents should know about smartphone risk and to protect their children from these dangers, parents should teach them how to use their smartphones properly and they need to restrict their children's use of smartphones.