英検準一級のライティング問題を解いてみたのですが、どなたか添削していただけないでしょうか…！ TOPIC ：More needs to be done to improve public safety. POINTS：Accidents •Crime •Food •Technology(うち２つ必ず使用) I disagree with the idea that more should be done to improve public safety. I would like to explain my opinion from the perspective of crime and technology. First of all, it is obvious that the public security of Japan is better, compared to another foreign conutries. In addition, criminal rate in Japan has been decreasing year by year. Safficient efforts have been done to improve public safety already. Second, modern technologies such as security cameras are effective to protect our safe. But,on the other hands, there is a risk to lead to an invasion of people's privacy. For the reasons I mentioned abvove, I don't think more effort is not needed to improve public safety. 来年には準一級を受けようと勉強し始めたところなのですが、英作文で躓いてしまいました。独学の為に聞く相手もいない為、無料で添削していただくのは大変烏滸がましいのですが、テーマを踏まえた時に文章の意味は通っているのか、点数は貰えそうかどうかアドバイスをいただけると大変助かります…！
英語
